5 Comments
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Viddao's avatar

You almost brought me to tears. Beautiful! Bravo!

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Bum Ass's avatar

Excellent twist, good stuff.

My only criticism that holds any water would be the odd bits like “heart by the heartstrings.” Very enjoyable read.

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James Knox's avatar

Yeah I went back through and cut/fixed some of that. I wrote it all at once and didn't reread it so I've had to fix stuff.

I had just finished working out when I suddenly decided to write dis so I was sweaty and tryna get in the shower ASAP.

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Eddie's avatar

Honestly a nice story, listened to it on the drive to Mass. I would say some portions could be whittled down a bit, especially near the end from the General’s POV. Kinda drags out the twist a bit. Overall still a good story!

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James Knox's avatar

I was initially not going to drop so much exposition, but I didn't want this to be an end of the world sort of thing so I came up with a reason to justify the lone bomber.

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